What To Teach Kids About Bullies and Bullying

Protecting our children from harm is our responsibility and duty as parents. But the sad reality is that, we can not be with our children 24/7. It is sometimes during these in-betweens when harm befalls our children. One such case is bullying. 

Years ago, my take on bullying was very conservative. I would tell my kids to rise above the situation, understand the bully, never fight back, be the better kid, and all those make-love-not-war approach. When my seven year old son got bullied, everything changed. I went to his school to pick him up and found him crying with a big red bulge on his forehead and a bruised area under his right eye. From then on, I knew that killing those bullies with kindness will never be a good option.

No matter how much I wanted to pull a Debbi Priscitella on the bully, I didn't. I challenged the bully's mom to a duel outside the school instead. It didn't happen though. She apologized and I accepted it. 

Since then, my approach about bullying changed. I armed my children with new and realistic knowledge about bullies and bullying.

Let's First Define What Bullying Is

Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. A clear definition of what bullying means should be explained to kids before we can teach them what to do. A lot of kids are unaware that they are being bullied simply because they don't know what the word constitutes. Giving examples of bullying will give them a clearer picture of what it truly is, especially the young ones.

What Are Bullies?

Bullies are stupid

If they have more than half the brain of an average person, they would be logically capable of distinguishing right from wrong.

Bullies lack discipline

They were not disciplined properly by their parents. I know how much love and patience are involved in raising children because I am a parent. Letting children get a pass for things that will eventually be detrimental to themselves and others is a poor parenting practice.

Bullies are emotional wrecks

They hate the world and those who live in it because they have a lot of problems in their home. I get it. Who doesn't? They use the  fine art of displacement and use all their anger towards others who are less threatening. The anger is justifiable, but the reaction is definitely not acceptable. Dear bully, if you can't hire a shrink, let it all out on Facebook; that's what it's for. Better yet, do the better form of defense mechanism which is reaction formation.

Bullies are insecure and scared

They torment others with nonsense to cover up their insecurities. They hide their inadequacy by belittling others hoping that no one will ever know theirs. Stupid.

Tell Your Kids To

Speak up

Teach your children to tell you, their teacher, or a person of authority about their case. Tell your kids that if they don't speak up, the bullying will never stop, and it will get worse and worse every day. Put a lot of emphasis on this fact.


Surround themselves with good friends
Most of the victims of bullying are loners. If your child surrounds himself with a lot of friends, the bully will have a harder time getting to him or her.


Join any Martial Arts discipline 
This will help your children gain confidence by learning how to defend themselves when the need arises. Don't worry about your kids beating everyone up even if they've ascended to the black belt status. Since martial arts is a discipline, they follow certain principles or tenets. They don't just engage in fights.

Fight back

Verbal abuse is one thing, intentional physical infliction is another. I told my children to give a verbal warning to the bully the first time it happens. Second time is war. They have to fight back! Make the bully feel that your kids will not tolerate his aggression towards them.

The Reality of Bullying

Bullying spans across all ages and this should be explained to our children well. It is not just in their level and age that bullying happens. Bullying will happen even if their old already. Of course the matter of handling adult bullying is different even if the nature is the same. Encourage your children to handle bullying now so that they will learn and act correctly when bullied in the future. Let them know that even though it is a consistent battle, there is always a good solution.

Bullying is a serious matter and should never be taken lightly. The sad reality is that a lot of kids have taken their own lives as a solution to bullying. This should never be the end point of bullying. Let's arm our children with knowledge and confidence to protect themselves. No matter how much we desire it, let's face the fact that we can not always be there for them. They should learn how to do it themselves. While I'm still around, I will remain true to this aphorism, though -  "touch my kid and I'll kill you".

Thanks for viewing! ☺

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