Why Parents Should Talk to Their Kids About Sex

How many times have you played smart-assy with your children to the point of making up stories just to stress a point? When your child asks "Where do babies come from, Daddy?", you pretend to be dumb and freeze up like you just had a major stroke. 

The first time I said the word vagina in front of my mom was when I was about 11 years old. My mom asked me to pray in front of our altar for forgiveness. I was baffled but was too scared to ask why. From then on, I knew the topic of sex organs and more so sex itself was taboo. I grew up thinking that sex was bad, disgusting, and the thing that cannot be named.

I don't blame my parents for never having discussed the topic with my siblings and I. Most parents are uncomfortable talking about sex with their children. Most would delay talking about it and some never talk about it at all. 

Times have changed. Things have changed. Television shows are full of sexual content. The internet is a repository medium for all thing's sex that our children can easily get access to. Kids can conveniently find ways (intentional or unintentional) in learning about sex whether we like it or not. It is inevitable. Our goal should be to help them access the right kind of information. We should be the ones to give them that kind of information. Here's why:

Parents as Educators

We parents are often referred to as our children's first educators.  We educate them in a level where certain values are intertwined with the topics at hand. You can educate your children at a level where you can catechize the beliefs and principles of your like saving themselves for their one true love or delaying sex after marriage. If we do it ourselves, we can make sure that our children gets the proper information. 

If we don't teach our kids about it, they will ask someone they know who is more likely as ignorant and as heavily curious as they are and that is a dangerous mix.

Feeding Their Curiosity

A child's sexual curiosity comes in at an early stage in life. According to Freud, it is during the Phallic Stage (18 months-3 years) where a child becomes aware of their pleasure zone. Being more curious as they age is part of sexual development. We can easily instill in them a befitting enlightenment regarding the matter especially when they are still in the stage where sexual curiosity is just starting.  If we give them a positive frame of reference early in their lives about sex, their curiosity will diminish. Less curiosity means less chances of them getting into situations we parents dread.  

The Bond

Opening to them about a difficult topic such as this will help create a deeper bond between the two of you. They know how hard it is for parents to talk about sex to their children. If done properly, you'll be seen as a cool mom or dad by your kids. They will more likely open up to you about their problems in the future.

Our children know more about sex than we think whether we admit it to ourselves before going to sleep at night or not. We should be aware of what is going on with them and act on things accordingly. 

I talked to my eldest son about sex long before he asked me about the birds and the bees. He was about 9 years old at that time. I could sense that he was already getting curious sexually so I decided to talk to him about it and I'm glad I did. It took the malice out of the subject. He asks me about the changes that he is experiencing from time to time. The questions sometimes overwhelms me but I try my best to answer them in a matter-of-fact way. 

A lot of parents are afraid that this kind of talk will bring in promiscuity in the future. Sex is a physiological need. A natural thing. Promiscuity is a psychological thing. It's either the kids have it in them or they don't. I think that empowering them with the right kind of knowledge about sex will actually help them avoid the state of carnal desecration. So, drink a glass of your favorite wine, pop an anxiolytic, do a few yoga poses, or listen to the sound of water flowing then call your child and start the "sex talk". You...can...do...it!

Thanks for viewing! 


  1. I like this blog. I will come and visit more often! I also have a mommy blog but it's undergoing some construction, but you still can browse through.

    it's motherinstincts.com


  2. Hi Sheng! Thank you very much! Heading over to your site once I'm done typing this. :-)


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