Why Do Grandparents Spoil Their Grandkids So Much?

"Mom! Why did you buy J6 all those shirts? He doesn't need that many! Actually, he doesn't need any. He's a toddler for crying out loud!"

"I didn't ask you for money", was my beloved mother's reply. Ugh!

The shirts I'm talking about do not come cheap. They are about $60 each plus tax. It's the kind of shirt I wouldn't dare buy my kids or myself unless they come with gold nuggets.

It's not just the shirt, actually. It's the toys, food, shoes, waking hours, painting the walls, not painting the walls - practically everything you can think of that we enforce upon our kids not to do, not to buy, not to take. A lot of it is geared toward the irrational, really.

Grandparents are heavy on pampering. Spoiling our kids is a pretty good thing to some extent, but when they start contradicting the lessons we are trying to teach our children, problems arise. Is this really what they're supposed to be. Why do they spoil their grandkids so much?

My dad - the man who was stricter than Hitler - told me that his role as a granddad is to smother his grandkids with love and pamper them like crazy. My role as a parent, he added, is to make sure that they will not grow up to be brats. What?! The former seriously negates the latter.

The real role of grandparents is to reinforce the teachings we impose upon our children. They're supposed to be the "follow-throughs" that will solidify all those effort we make. Instead, they do the opposite. Why?

Age

In terms of emotional quotient, we mellow down as we age. Grandparents are at that point where they've stopped being anal because they feel that they've already done all that they could. They've settled into that point in life where they just focus on simply enjoying whatever comes and that whatever includes our children.

Money

Grandparents have a fatter bank account when grandkids arrive. They can easily afford the things that they wanted to give to their own kids then. When I questioned my dad-in-law for buying my kids every single gadget that comes out in the market, he told me that it's his way of making-up for my husband for not being able to buy all the things that he wanted before.

Balance

Parents are the ones who give their kids a harder time because we want them to grow to be the best man or woman possible. Grandparents lenient nature towards their grandchildren balances our uptight ways.

Remembrance

My father told me that once his first grandchild was born, his own mortality hit him hard. He knew that it wouldn't be too long before his time ends. They didn't want to be remembered by their grandkids as being too stiff or despots because they already get that from us, their parents. 

It was how my grandparents treated me. It was those ways that made me love them so much. Sure they spoiled me, but even at that age, I knew when to draw the line. I knew that the final say still remained with my folks. I didn't grow up to be a brat because my dad made sure that I wouldn't. 

It took me along time and defied the ways that are common among grandparents. Over time, I realized what my mom, my dad, my parents-in-law, aunts, uncles taught me about spoiling their grandchildren. Spoiling by the way is the proper term. It is not too strong a word. It is the right kind of word for it.

My grandparents made me feel extra special and extra loved. That's the way I will make my grandkids feel too someday.

Happy Grandparents' Day!

Thanks for viewing! ☺
 


parenting