The ABCD’s of a Really Good Long Lasting Relationship


So, you found the love of your life. Good for you! What’s next?

Dating, flirting, and thinking of creative pet names for your significant other is the easiest stage of one’s so called love life.  The easiest, I tell you. It’s keeping that relationship afloat for a long time that’s hard.

The good news is that, it can be done! That is, of course, if you and your partner are willing to do it. The fact that you’re reading this means that you want your relationship to work and that’s a very good step. Read along and make the changes that you want to see.

Arguments are good

That’s right! Go ahead and argue! A lot of people misconstrue arguments as the death of a relationship. It’s actually quite the opposite. When couples argue, it means that love and care is still very much alive. Would you argue with some random stranger gyrating heavily in front of a Victoria Secret angel? Of course not! You’d probably clap your hands and egg him on. Now, what if it’s your boyfriend doing that? Hell hath no fury, eh?

If you don’t argue, you’re going to die early. That’s not according to me; that’s according to a study done by the University of Michigan School of Public Healthand Psychology Department. Couples who argue live far longer than those who don’t.

The important thing you have to work on is how to properly resolve an argument that will be both benefitting to you and your partner. There is a limit to arguments. Doing a Chris Brown on your partner is never acceptable. Never.

Bow Down

Take your sleazy ego and throw it in the trash! Most arguments lead to separation simply because one or both parties fail to say the three magic words: I am sorry. Accept when you’re at fault and apologize. If you don’t bow down, your simple bickering can give birth to a lot of resentment, which when piled up can lead to the end of your relationship. Ask yourself these questions the next time you get into conflict with your significant other: “Will this matter in a year or so?” and “Is it worth to lose my greatest love over this?”

Follow through is very important after you’ve said sorry. Make that extra effort to never do it again. A good apology loses its value when done over and over again.

Change for the better

Cliché but very true. Zig Ziglar said that “people often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Same is true for relationships. You need to be willing to work on it every single day. Before you command change on your partner, change yourself first. Assessment is the first step to change. Check what needs to be done and make the necessary adjustments.

Deference Should Supersede Love

Love only lasts for two years, maximum of four. Again, this is not a personal insight but a long and extensive study done by professionals. Respect is doing the noble thing behind your partner’s back. Respect means not bad mouthing your ex to others even if he crushed your heart to gazillion pieces. Respect is the highest form of adulation.

Embrace the Golden Rule

There are many versions, but here’s the one I like best: "Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself." It is very self-explanatory and needs no further explanation. If this is practiced by everyone, separation would become obsolete and the world will really be a better place.

What are your secrets for a long lasting relationship? Do share!

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